Thursday, June 30, 2016

2004 Verdoni Christmas Letter

‘Twas the Week before Christmas
With the Verdoni’s
By Shawn M. Verdoni

                Back by popular demand is the Verdoni Christmas Letter!  To all of you who asked, “Is everyone okay?”  Let me assure you, we are as right as rain.  To those of you who wondered, “Why didn’t they write one last year?” In this day and age where everyone is running haggard with his or her own family activities, it is very difficult for many of us to find the time to write a small note and mail it.  I hope you understand that is how I felt this past Christmas.  Since we had already sent a lengthy letter in the summer, I decided that I needed to cut the Christmas letter out and use that time and energy toward other Christmas projects I needed to take care of.  Besides, our lifestyle was running smoothly (no major humorous goofs) until the week before Christmas.  Let us go back to that time . . .

                The Potato and Onion Condo
                One of our family traditions in the Verdoni household is to make on gift for each family member.  The kids usually create something at school so they get off the hook pretty easily.  Rich still takes woodworking class at MATC each semester and so he can carve out time for a project, and this year’s project was a doozy!  I, on the other hand, do not have any extracurricular time that I have to create a family masterpiece.  I try to do so between the hours of 9:00 and 10:00 pm during the week, when Rich is gone to work and the kids are in bed sleeping.
                Jonah made us a bag of wonderful ornaments for the tree.  Each one had a little story to go with it and he was proud as punch to share them with us.  Erin created a family tree book where she chronicled her life in photos and short stories in which she must have written some of the words phonetically.  Both gifts will be family treasures for years to come.
                Rich’s gift to the family came early this month.  I was asked to pick up a pattern for a potato/onion holder, which I did.  I was asked to pick out front panels (they needed to have air flow) so I got to choose between a wire mesh panel and a pie tin punch panel.  I preferred the pie tin punch panel that is very nice to look at.  I also was told to pick out the hardware, but I apparently didn’t pick out the right ones.  When I came home one day, I noticed that a very heavy bag was on our kitchen counter.  That bag held our new hardware, which included brass hinges, and what looked like platinum and brass drawer pulls.  I asked where my wooden drawer pulls were and Rich replied, “I needed to pull together the contrast in colors and materials from the brass hinges and the silver pie tin punch panels.”
                Then I asked the million-dollar question, “What did that all cost?”
                Rich smiled, patted me on the head and replied, “It isn’t the cost that matters, it is that the project is done right!”  That only means one thing.  I didn’t want to know how much they cost.
                A few days later, I was asked to come down and see the unfinished project for another opinion.  “What do you think of a plate rail on the top?”  Rich asked.
                I was puzzled, “Why would I need a rail for the top?  It is just supposed to hold potatoes and onions.”
                “Yes, but it can do so much more if we put a failing on the top!”  Rich’s eyes were now starting to glimmer.  I was getting nervous.
                “No, I have counter space for that.”  Round 1 may have gone to Rich, but I had just won Round 2.  However, the battle had just begun.  I began going up the stairs when . . .
                “Where are you going?”  asked Rich.
                “Back upstairs.  I thought we were finished.”  I replied, getting a bit nervous.
                “We aren’t finished.  I need you to decide on molding,” he said with a smirk.
                “Molding?  This is just a container to hold potatoes and onions.  It doesn’t need molding.”  I said.
                “Any project needing to be done should be done right.”  I was afraid, very afraid of what was next.  I was not prepared for what was being shown to me.
                “Here it is with molding.  What do you think?”
                “It looks fine without it.”
                “But does it look better with it?”
                “But it is to hold potatoes and onions.  They won’t know the difference if they have molding on their home or not.”
                “True, but does it look better with molding or without?”
                “I suppose it looks nice to have that dark contrasting wood around the bottom of the oak top, but it doesn’t need it.  It is only holding potatoes and onions.”  I am beginning to whimper now.  I feel that my winning streak is beginning to come to an end.
                “Ha!  I knew it!  It does look better with molding!  Thank you!”  Said Rich the Conqueror.
                As I climbed up the stairs with my head hung low in defeat, I quietly asked my final question, “By the way, Rich, what kind of wood is the molding?”
                “Mahogany, of course!”  And that is how the potato and onion condo was born!  If you are interested in this prime piece of real estate, I can show you a fabulous room with a view on the top level of this three-story masterpiece.
                I should be proud to own this beautiful piece of woodworking.  I absolutely am.  In my wildest dreams, I had never imagined owning a potato and onion condo worth (the last time I checked on EBay) $500 per suite.

The Dyslexic Christmas Gift
                As I promised Rich, I would share with you my handmade Christmas gift for him.  I was getting along fairly well this holiday season.  Most of the Christmas shopping was done and so was the decorating.  The children are at an age where they enjoy helping and can actually do so without shattering the glass ornaments before they hit the tree.  We only had one incident where Jonah was throwing the handmade ornaments onto the tree as if he was a pitcher in a baseball game, but we stopped that pretty quickly.  Still, I needed to decide on a Christmas gift to make for each of my family members, and I was having a time of it trying to figure out what I wanted to do.  Then I had my epiphany.  I would make each of them a shirt with a treasured family photo on it that I would create with our computer and photos we’ve collected on CD and then I would use a t-shirt iron-on to create each masterpiece.
                It was 9:00 pm and the kids were particularly squirrelly that night.  Rich was running late to work and I was getting very tired.  Still, I needed to get on with it and get these presents done.  Both Erin and Jonah enjoyed our family vacation to the Dells this October, so I chose a photo where the whole family was on horseback.
                What I didn’t realize, is that the computer did not read many of our photo CDs yet and I neglected to write on their envelopes what was on each CD.  I began the tedious project of cataloging each CD.  Now my one-hour project has turned into several.  I need to note that our computer is old and has a tendency to crash if too much graphic work is being asked of it.  So now I am reading all the CD’s from January 2003 until present and every other CD is making my computer crash so I need to re-boot every other time.  I am truly in the Christmas spirit now.
                When I finally got to the point where I could create the t-shirt transfers, I was in a tragic state of mind.  My eyes were glassed over and I believe I was mumbling to myself.  Still, I got Erin and Jonah’s shirts done and they looked nice.  Now it was time for Rich’s gift.
                I found a great shot of the two kids sitting on the back of an ambulance at the Mukwonago Fire Department’s Open House.  I decided to tap my creative energy a bit more and add verbiage to my creation.  “Papa, You Light Our Fire!”  Was chosen and added to the photo.  I then added the transfer to the printer and let it rip.  I felt so elated that I had completed the project and it was only 11:30 pm!  I still had 30 minutes to iron it on the shirt and wrap it!
                I took my time and followed all the directions on the package to make sure I made a quality present for my love.  Then came the moment of truth.  I began peeling off the backing and pride filled my heart full and my eyes flooded with tears.  Not even a corner ripped!  The transfer took to the sweatshirt beautifully and there were no mistakes.  But wait!  Did my tear-stained eyes deceive me?  Could it be that I was mistaken?  In my haste, had I accidentally forgotten one small, simple step?  Did I neglect to hit the button on the computer screen telling me to “Flip” the graphic?  I did.  Rich’s shirt now reads,

“!eriF ruO thgiL ouY ,apaP”

                Too tired to care, I wrapped it any way.  His real Christmas gift from me was the present of “MY WIFE SCREWED UP AND I DIDN’T! HAH!”

                2004 was a good year for us and we are looking forward to some much earned family time in 2005.  We wish you and your family a blessed holiday and 2005!

Love,
Shawn, Rich, Erin, and Jonah.


                

No comments:

Post a Comment